Let The Boy Stay In Your House

New kicks!

I love getting new shoes and I think I've passed down the quality to
my boy. He has not stopped wearing his new chucks for the past three
days.

Athens, TX

Posted November 4, 2010 by Chris Stapper

I've never been in an actual fistfight. My younger brother and I would wrestle and try and throw each other off of the trampoline, but actually hitting each other with our fists seemed outside the bounds of our gentleman's agreement. I've hit a punching bag before and I can also think of a few times where I punched a wall or some other object to release whatever tension had built up inside of me. So I have no idea what it feels like to clench your fists in preparation for a throwdown.

All of that has been on my mind recently as God is undoing some stuff in me that has been misplaced. I swear the thing that God has been repeating for the past few months is "Open Your Hands Chris." At first, there were moments and small decisions but lately I have been aware of how much of my life is held so tightly. It's probably no surprise to say that I like a certain amount of control in my life. I like to make decisions and be in charge and hold tightly to the reins of whatever project or task I am leading. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

However, what God has been showing me lately is that some things will be more successful if I will let go of them a little. Totally counterintuitive. This is essentially the message that gets preached during any sermon on tithing. As we loosen the grip on our money, we are able to hold on to more important things. For whatever reason, when it comes to money I am not nearly as controlling as other areas of my life. But it's the same dilemma - am I willing to let go and give up control and believe that God will do a better job than I can?

Of course when it is phrased that way the choice seems clear. But when the choice comes in the form of everyday life events, it's not quite so cut and dry. This morning the dam might have broken. I was preparing for MIDWEEK (wednesday night bible study) and I was reading and re-reading James 2. "Faith without works is dead." Does my faith and belief that I am utterly dependent on Jesus Christ match up with the way that I actually live each day? When is the last time that I chose faith over my abilities? I've been turning this question over and over in my head all day long.

The problem is that it is so hard to unclench your fists once they are wrapped around something. It's so hard to forgive. It's so hard to get vulnerable. It's so hard to be as trusting as you know you should be. It's hard to be optimistic rather than cynical. But I know that I should live with open hands - ready to give to God and ready to receive from God. I'm letting go - one finger at a time.

Posted September 7, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Kindergarten Economics

Emma and I were discussing ownership tonight as I was tucking her in. She told me to get out of "her bed" and I asked who the bed really belonged to. "Mommy" she said.

"Where did Mommy get the money to buy the bed?"

"The bank."

"Where did the bank get the money?" And this is where it got interesting.

"The church."

"What? The church? How does that work?"

"The church gets the money and takes it to the bank," Emma explained to me.

I asked Emma who could go and get money from the bank. "Anyone." "Anyone?" "Anyone." Well that sounds simple.

I pressed her for a few more details, and this is where we landed for Emma's fiscal understanding.

The church gets money in the offering plate.

People work at the church so the money can be taken to the bank.

The bank gives the money to people.

People take the money to buy stuff and give it back to the church.

Without realizing it, Erin and I have raised a mini-Socialitst.

Posted March 9, 2010 by Chris Stapper

The Day After The Birthday

Yesterday, my boy turned three, and if you know anything about me, you know that I love to reflect and get nostalgic about years gone by. It was fun to retrace Erin and my steps three years ago. I kept thinking, "I bet we were doing ________ about this time." The fact is that Friday February 23, 2007 was an incredibly fun day. Erin's mom was with us all day, Emma spent the day with Erin Humphries, Dr. Curran did a great job delivering the boy, and my parents rolled into town that evening. Everything was going so smoothly that we were pretty sure we would leave the hospital on Saturday afternoon and begin the journey of being a family of four.

On Saturday morning, I woke up at the house and checked on Emma to discover she had a fever. It wasn't that big of a deal-at the time I was only thinking about how she wouldn't be able to go up to the hospital at all that day. After talking to my parents who were staying with us, we decided that my mom would hang out with her that morning while my dad, brother, and I went to the hospital. Lunch time arrived and the guys decided that we would go pick up some BBQ sandwiches and bring them by the house for my mom and Emma. I was having a hard time reaching mom on the phone, but I finally I got through to hear this: "I called an ambulance for Emma. You need to come home right now." The mile from Cripple Creek BBQ to my house seemed like an eternity. What happened? Why was an ambulance involved? Why hadn't I been there? What was I going to tell Erin?

When we got to the house, there was indeed an ambulance in the driveway, and Emma was lying on the gurney. To see her two-and-a-half year old frame inside of an ambulance filled with tubes and masks and wires was too much. My mom and the EMTs were all telling me the story-her fever had spiked and she had a seizure. She had been looking at the DVD's trying to find a movie to watch when she went limp and became unresponsive. Mom was the only one at the house and she called 911. After a few preliminary checks, I hopped in the ambulance with Emma and we went to the ER. One of the perks of living in a small town (and having a hospital in town) was quickly apparent - Dr. Curran met us at the ER doors, and Erin was able to come down not long after. In fact, Erin's OB nurses checked on her for the next couple of hours in the ER; I seriously doubt that Methodist Hospital (where Emma was delivered) would have been so helpful.

Although Emma was not very responsive, the doctors and nurses assured us that she would most likely be fine in a little while. The seizure was a febrile seizure brought on by a high fever, and had most likely not caused any damage. It's actually the body's natural way of breaking an exceptionally high fever. To be on the safe side, Emma was admitted for the night, and in a strange twist of fate, her room was exactly 50 steps away from Erin and Caedmon's room. Erin and I each went to one of our children's rooms, and if we wanted to switch we would call each others rooms and hug as we passed in the hallway on our 50 step journey.

Rob Bell talks about the hallways of life in his newest book Drops Like Stars and I know exactly what he means. The 24 hours in the hospital was lived in a hallway between the one of the best and worst experiences of our lives. On the way to Caedmon's room, I remember feeling lifted and excited, but traveling to Emma's room was such a reminder of how little control we have in life. How could I have helped her? What could I have done to keep this from happening? After one night, everyone was released to go home; to this day, Emma has never shown any ill effects from her seizure. But the experience made deep impressions on me, and is a constant reminder of the tension between wonderful and awful that seems to fill up our lives. It's a tension between how things should be and how things actually are. I long for a time when everything is made new and right, but for now there will be more instances of heartache and pain. And I will continue to live in the hallway between the two.

Posted February 24, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Let The Lent Begin

Lent is such a strange time of year. I can remember having discussions about why as a non-Catholic there was no reason to pay any attention to Lent. There does not seem to be a great deal of focus in most Baptist churches about this season, but you could easily say the same thing about Sabbath, confession, or silence and each of those have held a important place in my relationship with Christ. Primarily, I've understood Lent as a time where you give up chocolate or sodas to identify with Christ's suffering...and maybe that's why I've never quite understood it. It's like saying, "I know what you're going through Jesus-I haven't been to Starbucks in two weeks!" Giving up one simple thing for 40 days sounded a bit empty and like a fancy case of legalism and more rules.

In Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book Life Together, he says "Let him who cannot be alone, beware of being in community. Let him who is not in community, beware of being alone." Bonhoeffer's point is that our normal habits must be put aside so that we can develop the life of a disciple of Jesus. Community and solitude both have their benefits, but they also have their pitfalls, and without a balance we are find ourselves lost in despair. I can hear the echoes of this sentiment in the Lenten period - the point is not to give up something simply to give it up; no, there is something much greater going on.

This is the period of renewing our minds from Romans 12:1-2 - by putting aside habits and emptying ourselves, we are creating space for God to fill us up. The point is not what you give up, but how to create more space for God to transform us. This leads down a road of 1,000 more questions - is giving up Facebook going to help me stay connected to a community of Christ or cause me to retreat further into my introverted shell? How does giving up soda open me up to God? Is staying away from fast food going to allow me to focus on a new aspect of my relationship to Christ?

Lent is like any other discipline in that it is a means to an end, not the end itself. Start with the end in mind. For me, I have realized that I can become so obsessed with reading about Scripture that I am often drawn away from Scripture. I have stacks of books about church, God, Jesus, disciplines, how to study the bible, etc, and often I spend more time reading those than I do the actual word of God. So I have decided to put aside that non-essential reading for the next 40 days. It will mean my Kindle goes dark for a while. It will mean that I won't get around to reading Crazy Love like I had wanted to. But the point isn't to prove to Jesus that I can sacrifice books - the point is to give up one thing to get something else. I want these next 40 days that are leading up to Easter to be an intense time of opening the Scriptures and letting God speak to me through them, rather than an interpreter like Donald Miller, Rob Bell, or even Bonhoeffer.

Where could you create more space in your life for God to move? What would you have to sell in order to buy the treasure hidden in a field?

Posted February 17, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Free Graphics for Church and Stuff

via creativemyk.com

Creativemyk.com is a great site to go to if you are in need of a graphic, background, sermon slide, or just some inspiration. Users can upload their work and make it available for download for free. There is also a forum for getting constructive criticism on your work.

Posted February 6, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Sunday Sermon Audio

(download)

This past Sunday, I had the chance to deliver the sermon on Sunday morning. I went through my process of crafting a sermon last week, and here is the finished product. For some reason, the first few minutes are missing but it was just some introduction stuff. No big deal.

Posted February 1, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Through The Wall

(download)

Posted January 27, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Busyness and Donatists

The honeymoon of the new year is over. It started so calmly...there was no school, work was a little more relaxed, things were peacefully flowing along. The past five days have been hectic; it hasn't been bad, but I have just let a few things slip (like this blog) that I wanted to keep up with.

One of the great things this week has brought is a complete selling out of the Help Haiti shirts. 144 shirts in 4 days...not too shabby. Thank you people of Athens, Martin's Mill, Poyner, Crandall, and San Angelo.

Today I was reading for school about a controversy in the early church from a group called the Donatists. The Donatists believed that the church was strictly a place for the saints, not for sinners. Their movement gained steam during a period of persecution from Diocletian. The possession of Scripture was illegal and some Christians had turned over their copy of the Scripture to officials and authorities-in essence they were renouncing their faith. Those who hadn't caved in were critical and denounced this group. After the pressure had subsided, many of the turncoats rejoined their churches much to the chagrin of the Donatists. They believed that they had no place because of their previous actions. Fascinating stuff.

I had never heard of this movement before, and I was so happy that our churches aren't anything like that....right? We never think that it's only a place for Christians. We don't try to exclude other people. I was just overjoyed that American Christianity is so advanced and we don't have to deal with silly controversies like this.

Here's to being more graceful people and sharing Christ's love with everyone, not just those who are already in the family.

Posted January 22, 2010 by Chris Stapper

Blog Worth Looking At: The iPhone Mom

http://www.theiphonemom.com/

Heather Leister runs a blog called The iPhone Mom that covers apps for iPhone toting moms. It's a cool site, and pretty handy for those dads out there that sport iPhones. The games and activity apps that she covers are cool and I can tell you from experience that having some handy apps make for a much more peaceful car ride.

Posted January 19, 2010 by Chris Stapper